12/2/2024 - 4:27am - Monday
currently at: home

Finishing up on some work for the album tonight as I ready myself for a bidding war over some shitty workstation PCs I wanna use for servers. Life is ok, I have been rather enjoying myself even in my lonesome and even though I really wish I was socializing more and taking more risks, I've been happier with myself than I usually am at this stage of a depressive spiral, so that's nice. I have been revisiting playing the drums, and I can now do a handstand up against a wall. Also, I've been really working on skincare and it's already showing results, my skin is glowing and I'm sad I can't go out and look cute all the time cause I totally would, especially now. I want to do a cute photo shoot but I don't really have any ideas and the thought of new people makes me queasy. This being trans thing is crazy hard btw. I feel like at this point I'm just paranoid that I'm gonna get randomly hate crimed. I'm just stressed out all the time and I think all this anti trans rhetoric that I see everywhere has seeped into my mind. like I think to myself so often about if I'm a poser or not, even though I remember clear as day wishing I was part of the other side of the binary my whole life. I never really got to grow up with intimacy. I lacked it in my boy friendships cause I was so appalled by masculinity, and I lacked it in my girl friendships cause even when I was assumed gay (happened constantly) my manhood would serve as a barrier for them and myself to engage in girlhood the way I always wanted. that means no makeup, no bags, no cute clothes, no dolls, no sports, no roughhousing, always holding myself back, and barely ever present. when I was a kid I was constantly in "lala land" as my parents would say, I was always humming to myself, or tapping shit, not really paying attention, and always trying to make myself as inconvenient as possible. It really sucks to look back and know that I knew who I was and what I wanted and that I never felt like I was OK. As young as 3rd grade I remember being depressed and lonely. I never really knew community the way I've seen cis people enjoy it. Feeling good about myself always ended with a panic and a need to hide myself and distance myself from everyone that ever saw me enjoy myself cause what if they saw who I really was, what if I let down my mask, and everyone saw through the facade and was judging me for it? I don't think that was ever really true. I remember when I started bottling up feelings and being seperated from myself. The bottle was barely full back then and I think that's what kept me ok for such a long time. It lasted me til high school. I've been processing a lot recently, including a lifetime's worth of built up self harm urges. I haven't been evil to myself, but the cuts I have now are ones that would have destroyed me back then. when I unsucessfully tried cutting myself on the playground in middle school, people obviously noticed, and when people started commenting about it I panicked. it felt like I had gotten into huge trouble. when a teacher had a private talk with me asking if I was ok and if I needed any help, I lied my ass off. "yeah I'm totally fine", "nope, I definitely don't cut myself" "not even sure where that came from" "I'm totally chill and super happy all the time". A mantra I carried for the rest of my old life. it never even really felt like lying, I never really felt like me anyways, so as long as I was consistent to my character, that was just my truth. In the larger scheme, all this really ended up doing was stunting myself. the web of neural pathways that make up the fabric of my brain are poisoned with useless garbage that I can't ever fully change. growing up now is probably the best thing that could happen to me, but I still really wish I could have had this feeling back then. that I belong in my world and that I can make choices, especially if they're wrong. I'm doomed to never quite be what people expect out of my converging identities, so why try to appease them? I'm smart and beautiful and I have accomplished more than some people ever will in their life. When my friend Isai died of covid at 16, I started regretting every second that I didn't spend being myself. I do it now with such passion because I want him to be proud of me. I do it because I love writing blog.html entries on the website I built by myself for the brand I built by myself. speaking of, album is coming up really really really soon now. a special release date informational gift to anyone who read this far: Dec 20th is the release date of the album, mark your calendars! I'm scrounging up funding on gofundme and by working my ass off for the CD release, which will only be a run of 100. I don't honestly expect to sell all of them but wouldn't that be freakin cool if I did? anywho, au revoir blog.html. love and smooches, dandeless.

9/19/2024 - 3:22pm - Thursday
currently at: work

Pro Tip: take your meds. I let myself run out of my antidepressants and the past few weeks have been a nightmare waiting for them to kick back in. Not worth it.
I wrote a little script that changes the theme of this site based on the time of day! it worked out nicer than I had expected and now I know some javascript! I'd like to keep working on making this website nicer, hopefully so that it can work as a good professional portfolio, but having this blog here is maybe ill-fated since I get a bit too real sometimes, it doesn't really evoke professionalism... I think I'll keep it here until it becomes a problem.

that's all for today, I love you blog.html

8/18/2024 - 1:36pm - Sunday
currently at: home

Feeling really great tonight. I'm working hard on the next album and it feels really big. I'm so happy with how far I've come with my music, this whole journey has been a bumpy ride, and I feel like it's coming to a really satisfying end. I don't really think that means I'll be moving on to a new alias, but I'm trying to make something as polished as I possibly can just in case my whole life implodes. Inverse to my fears and worries, things are going really well for me. Life feels more and more real every day thanks to my new and improved self-assurance and I've been enjoying witchly activities such as gaming, chillaxing, petting my cats, and music-making. I'm also thinking about school again. This time I'm not going to be stupid and I'm gonna take music and/or compsci, not some stupid classes I don't care about (unless they are required :P). By the time the semester is over, I'll be prepped to apply for the Real School (sorry community college...) and hopefully I am just built different and will get in through my own merit.

That's all I have to say for tonight. I love you blog.html

06/26/2024 - 03:41pm - Wednesday
currently at: work
weather: sunny

god, life has been hard this month. my meds kicked me into a depressive spiral that resulted in a persistent urge to self-harm. I feel like I barely made it out of that hole, but here I am, happy and relatively healthy. none of my problems really went away but I can walk away saying that I'm still trying and that I have the power to live the life I want, in spite of all the garbage. I've been thinking a lot about lav since she attempted. I'm so deeply sad that she felt like that, and even more that there was nothing I could really do. I tried so hard to save her, and all I could do was send a couple cops, and who knows if that really helped. I don't want to live in a world where people like me are dying just trying to be who they are. the algorithms know I'm a tgirl now and some of the stuff I see online now is just so sad. girls hurting themselves. girls hurtling themselves into dangerous, abusive sexual fantasies. girls isolating themselves beyond help. I'm so lucky to have support and understanding where I think so many girls don't, and it makes me so angry that I'm stuck trying to live my own life, and have no realistic outlet to help others. there's no sense in trying to fix the world and help everyone who I think needs help. what I really wish is for a world where the tools already exist for people to help themselves. I've found my help through circumstancial means, and so many people don't know where to look or even have the energy to look at all. at the end of the day what I want to do with my life is to leave a mark that lives beyond me. I want to explain my life through my work and give the world a way to see what I see. as long as I can change the mind of even one person, that's what matters to me. to give someone something special. I feel like I talk a lot about repaying the world for what it's given me and I don't want to risk sounding like a broken record but life is a gift too magical to not at least try.

I got back into working on my music consistently after a pretty substantial break, and hopefully as this year goes on, the album on the horizon will come closer to fruition. I'm really excited! I'm bringing a lot of artists that I really love onto this album, and I think my sound has developed to a point where it's undeniably special. I've always considered myself skilled, but the music I'm sitting on right now is on a different level than I've ever been able to reach. I am so greatful to my supporters for saying nice things and egging me on, and I'm greatful to myself for making space in my life and taking time to create stuff that I really love. It's hard to balance my creative life with my "real" life, so reaching the level of success I've already reached feels really great. if you're reading this, wish me luck and stay tuned!

love to all and signing out, dandeless.

05/24/2024 - 04:47pm - Friday
currently at: home
weather: raining

I totally failed today. I just stayed paralyzed in bed (couch) from wake until 3pm. I haven't eaten anything yet and I just feel totally stuck. my T-blockers are really kicking in and I'm losing sleep and sanity. All my reference understanding of the world was based in feelings I had on testosterone and I feel so broken and vulnerable. I've been really trying to push myself, but I think I'm at my wit's end and I still have so much more I need to do until I reach real stability and control over my executive dysfunction. basically, AAAAHHHHHH!!!! I haven't made music in a long time now, and while there are actually tons of future opportunities and fun that I want to have with music, I still haven't dealt with myself yet. I have a bunch of charts to make over this coming week, and I don't really feel real and I wonder if I will even get them done. I can only hope by some stroke of luck I can pull it together. Tomorrow I'll be going to a celebration of life with my extended family on my white side, and I'm so worried that I'll be ostracised and embarassed even more so than usual. Feeling like a total alien is always my least favorite part of interacting with my family, and it doesn't help me to linger in the feeling, but I usually end up doing that anyways. I can't type as fast as the thoughts come through and there's a whole fuck load of them and my PC needs to restart so that's the end of today's rant. if u read this pls buy my music I am so broke rn.

05/22/2024 - 03:18pm - Wednesday
currently at: work

hihi to any readers 2day.
I'm back home from a really fantastic weekend in Chicago!! me n my homegirls went togther, two of us to see Megan Thee Stallion, and then we all went to Anime Central to see maozon, TORIENA, kors k, & Ryu!! I got two cute tshirts and some sword earrings for when my piercings finally heal. life goal still includes making a rhythm game, but after having been at the convention, my path is not even more unknown. I still can't program for the life of me and my production skill isn't at all what I want it to be. I'm also on antidepressants and t blockers now alongside the estrogen I've been taking for a bit more than half a year, and they're making me feel just a little bit insane! mostly very tired and the mind is hazier than usual, although I feel more comfortable in my head and skin, which is nice. I went through the tedious process of shaving my entire body for the summer, and I forgot how much of a hair beast I am :( I got through the front half of my legs after a whole hour and it took another hour of EPILATING for the back half. most painful thing I've ever done to myself I'm pretty sure. I want to work and make money so bad, but coming back from such a comfortable trip to the discomfort of my daily life has really been regretful. It makes me want to just move away, but it's not like that's going to solve much of anything. I think a lot of the shame that I have lingers around every memory I have of this city, and maybe moving away really would help. but idk. life is at a 7/10 right now, which is way better than average, and ideally I would be able to leverage that to help get myself working and grinding but now with the new meds everything is still just as difficult as before. blah blah whatever, I gotta get back to doing my job. this is just a rant now.
new music coming eventually :p

??/??/2024 - 05:03pm - Friday
currently at: work

HELLO 2024!!!
life has been quite good these past few months. I have been totally out of my own creative loop, but I'm still moving along and doing things and growing up. my birthday is really soon and I'll probably run some tunes in my basement and try out a bar for the "first time". I have a bunch of new stuff as of these past few weeks including: an Alesis Nitro Drum Kit, a Google Pixel 7 Pro, and copies of The Pervert and 920London by Remy Boydell. It's been a while since I last spent this much money, and honestly, if I hadn't spent it, I would have a really nice chunk of savings, but no regrets!!! I've been really wanting to make a rhythm game, but learning programming and game development from scratch is no simple feat. my first goal is to make a small, tritone, pallette based rhythm game in godot. I like the gameplay style of takumi^3, and I want to copy it, but I should really stick to simple lanes (probably 4key) for simplicity's sake. Signing off for now, meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow.

06/02/2023 - 02:25pm - Friday
currently at: home

I'm glad I reminded my Rizline contact about the cover art! there was a network error, and the file never sent. but now the song is released/releasing and I can rest easy. check it out or something.

06/01/2023 - 05:08pm - Thursday
currently at: work

hihi to any dandeless followers that follow me close enough to be reading this, if you exist, I'm greatful. It's weird to see my spotify stats increase in a straight line, the impostor syndrome hits hard every time I look at them... close to 100 spotify followers and close to 300 twitter followers... weird stuff. I understand it's not a whole lot of people in the grand scheme of things but hundreds of individuals who like what I do enough to click the follow button on the internet is pretty crazy, and intimidating to say the least. if I know anything about statistics, a straight line is a pretty good, so I guess I just gotta keep on doing what I'm doing and presumably higher numbers will continue to fall into my lap? I've even seen the listen count on some of my non-phigros music go up, weird! (side note: I still haven't heard back from the devs since I first asked for art for my Rizline song, and as I write this, I've poked my contact once again, maybe it'll go well, maybe it won't, who knows, who cares, I can move on from a 2 year old song

I hate talking about statistics and business! in other news, I have started putting more effort into being creative and using the time I have to do the things I want! being alive in this world is a draining activity, but I think there is so much beauty in the world that it would be genuinely idiotic not to try to create and consume and laze and work and cry and sing and dance and do all of the things that make life worth living. slightly related: I want to make a video game. this isn't the first time I've ever thought this, and it's certainly not the first time I've ever tried to make one, but while it usually ends up with me giving up, I've had a shift in mindset; even if I give up (which I should try my best not to) or forget, or become overzealous with my vision, I should just keep trying. eventually my skills will be enough and the pieces will fall into place, and I can make something I'm satisfied with. of course it won't be possible if I take the "eventually" as reason to disconnect from learning, but if I keep trying and doing what the fuck I wanna do, I might get there, and that would be cool.

anyways, I'm going to ride the wave of optimism as far as I can, and use my brain as much as I can. good bye

05/26/2023 - 12:11pm - Friday
currently: cat sitting

next project: yuruyuru!
I'm not sure if I'm supposed to be posting about this, but I won't spoil anything! I hope I can get all the charts finished by the due date.

after that: BOF:NT!
I have cool plans for this as well, involving a rejected song contest entry, and some other cool stuff.

Besides projects, I don't have much else going on. I'ts summertime, and I haven't had much mental energy to do much of anything, my room in particular is in complete disarray... Once the fall semester starts, I'll have a few classes to go to, so that's great, I guess.
I wish I had more to blog about, but of course, the second I start typing, I forget everything I wanted to talk about. goodbye!

04/28/2023 - 12:12pm - Friday

I came out. so far only to my roommates, but eventually, everyone. I keep wanting there to be an easy and funny way to say it but it's really not all that funny or easy. I'm a woman, always have been, probably always will be. There's doubt in my mind about if I can really do this, but my worries seem to just be about the difficulty of it and not in the validity of my claim. It feels right to be a woman, that's what I wanted all those years ago, I wanted to be called a girl, I wanted people to see me as a girl, but what stopped me was the fact that I simply wasn't. I was a boy, and my parents made that clear to anyone who said otherwise because I insisted that I was a boy. I guess I only insisted because I didn't think that it could be a reality, that I could be a girl. Women have been my safe space for my whole life, I gravitate towards them, seeing what they're all like, watching them be themselves. All the while I've never been myself, so many rules, made up or not, about what I can and can't do as a boy that have always seemed so asinine. I want to be cute. I want to be cute. I need to be cute. This almost feels like it came out of nowhere, or worse, that "I watched rupaul and it changed my life" which just sounds stupid. I'm sure rupaul hasn't had the least of effects on me, but I identified what I was years ago. I denied myself my own identity, denied it some more, kept it hidden even to myself, and ruined myself under the crushing weight of never being able to open up or be myself unless practically attached to someone else. But now I'm here, trying to make my manly (and I'll admit, quite cute) boy body look girly and feminine. I can't really do it, and feeling satisfied with it is going to be it's own challenge, but at least it's exciting. At least I have a reason to live another day.

03/28/2023 - 6:33pm - Tuesday

off and on and off and on and off and on and off and on and off and on and off and on
born to on, forced to off

I am feeling somewhere inbetween my 3/21 and 3/27 blogs.
is this mania? am I manic? what is that and does it have any relevance to my current or previous situation? I don't know!
what I do know, is that I wanna kill myself (note for anyone reading this: yes this is alarming, no I do not intend to actually kill myself, nor do I expect anything to come of the feeling. I am depressed! suicidal thinking is part of that awesome fun package).

other things I don't know: if I will be able to afford rent.
whatever anyone asks me about (even if I do technically know).
how to take photographs of people, particularly myself.
how to overcome my mental roadblocks.
do anything that I don't want to do when I want to do it without experiencing excruciating mental pain.

whatever who cares anywayssss I'll never be happy until I'm a woman.
id actually k though but there's no way for me to know if I would genuinely be happier as a woman unless I simply become a woman. and that shit ain't simple!!
hoping my coworkers aren't catching any of this ever when I write these directly in front of them. I'm just gonna make the text really small and hope they don't care enough to watch.

03/27/2023 - 7:04pm - Monday

doing wayyy better now than I was on that last post.
it was fucked up though, I hope it doesn't get that bad again for at least a few months, I don't wanna know how much worse it can get.
brought my keyboard to work and cleaned it. it was fun.
had a good day at school, talked with people for once and had a LOT of fun dancing. swing is cool :)
I also took the tiniest little bite of an edible before work (2:50pm) and am currently (7:08pm) quite high and it really wasn't that much. fun stuff!

03/21/2023 - 3:57pm - Tuesday

AAAH AAAAH AAAAAAH AAH
I can't just scream
things are going ok but they aren't really
I'm barely making enough, I'm trying to be ok or at least show others I'm ok, I don't really know.
even if I wanted to I can't even be myself
I struggle to help myself, but I am trying constantly
feels like an endless loop of suffering
I don't want to keep falling into holes
I don't want to hear my voice anymore

maybe I'm just fucking hungry

01/28/2023 - 02:44pm - Saturday
currently at: work

Hello! Forgive my use of capital letters for the first time in dandeless history, but I've now been in school for a few weeks and my non-capital muscle memory is really not doing me any favors there... I'm not taking many credits so that I'm not overwhelmed with learning how to engage in school again, but I'm engaging in school for the first time in years and it feels great! I've got a few BMS projects on the horizon, and I mentioned in a previous post that I should learn Mid2BMS, and now that I have, my life has been better! Mid2BMS doesn't cover all the bases, and it can be incredibly finnicky to work with, but the ability to mass export my songs is an incredible tool. Anyways so now I have multiple BMS projects ready and waiting to be charted, which means I don't have to grind and grind and grind right before the due date, leaving me way more time to work on BGAs, charts, troubleshooting, and even just playing BMS in general. I have much more to say, but not much time (or energy) to type it. See u next blog!

11/17/2022 - 02:06pm - Wednesday
currently at: a tea shop

I am blogging once again, and feeling much better than I was in my last post. I am working toward finishing the next BMS I'm releasing, it's going to have a lot of jacks. I finally took some steps towards getting back in school, which is great! the pandemic brought my high school life to a life altering dead-end during my junior year, I was stuck at home with an overwhelming environment that was impossible to work in and absolutely no motivation to attend online classes, which to me essentially did not even exist. I just barely made it out of high school and have now been working and living on my own (with help from my parents, bless them) and with the virus becoming endemic, I feel loads more comfortable to start going to school again. It's not news to anyone the effects of the pandemic, if I told you I still feel very isolated and haven't had a normal social life for years, you would be like "yeah obviously", but it doesn't stop it from affecting me greatly. anyways, whether I actually start this upcoming semester or the next, I'm immortalizing my intent here so that I can't go back without embarassing myself. blog #? over.

11/14/2022 - 11:58pm - Monday
currently at: home

greetings. I am very tired and just not feeling it rn. not much to say honestly just not feeling good. might not be a good time to be blogging on main but I couldn't think of anything else to do right now. We recently got kitties in the house, and they have been the cutest most sweetest boys ever, one is named greg, the other is named wallace. greg is currently napping next to me, and idk where wallace is. I've got a few BMS projects ready for the coming months, both of which I'm quite excited about! otherwise, I am thinking of starting school again soon, but I forget about it almost every single day so getting in at the start of next semester might be more difficult than I want it to be. (through no fault but my own lol) that's all I got for this post. thanks for reading.

10/02/2022 - 04:54pm - Wednesday
currently at: a tea shop

hello! in a tea shop rn and a baby is being loud as fuck. loud ass toddler, so fucking loud jesus christ. crying n shit omigod shut up. I was gonna write a normal blog post but then the toddler started malding holy shit that was obnoxious. anyways hi! I'm currently in a bit of a stuck place right now, I just got finished with running my basement rave, releasing my second album, doing work for BMS of Fighters, and a bunch of other little things. I've been stressed for weeks and weeks and now that I'm over that hump, I'm feeling very... meh. My party went really well and I made a good amt of money off my album release so far, but I think I should be doing more advertising for it.. if it weren't for my grandma I wouldn't have even made more than my last album, which wasn't as good. I really don't want to have to start learning how to advertise myself but I'm not sure how else to position myself to be valuable. not that I personally care that much about it, I just want to make it easier for me to work part time and still make some money off of my music. I understand that's a very difficult thing to do, but that doesn't stop me from wanting it. so anyways, I'm just not sure what to do, I might make some more videos for songs on the album and release them on youtube, see if I can get any buyers there, I of course wan't to make all of them into BMS but that's a very long, difficult road. I still don't feel comfortable converting songs to BMS from FL Studio. any song I make in Renoise is such an easy conversion to BMS, but less than 10% of my music is made there, and like I said before, I'm not at all comfortable converting with FL. the midi>bmhelper>woslicer>BMS IN ADDITION TO sample>woslicer>BMS takes fucking forever. I saw billiumoto had an english guide to mid2bms and I really should read up on it, cause I've heard the tool is great. In reality, if rokina's BMSMaker was less buggy, less janky, and had clear instructions, that would be the best, but decades into BMS, we still have no "best tool" and it's driving me a little bit crazy... anyways, I can't really wish things into existence like that, the tools we have are the tools we have, and I should just get better rather than complain. if I medicated myself for ADHD, I bet I could get a lot more done.
I think my BMS work is going to happen, just because I can't keep myself away from it, I'm just drawn to it by default, but other projects I want to do, I want to make a little zine and distribute it in my hometown. it would give me an excuse to do some art and interact more with my city. I struggle with depression (if you couldn't tell by how much time I spend on the internet) and literally anything that gets me out of the house is good.
I'm basically run out of rants for now. see you next blog post I guess, hope you're having a great day today.

09/06/2022 - 11:33am - Tuesday
currently at: home

hihi folks, big gap in posts, I wish that meant there was a lot to talk about but my brain doesn't keep that much information at once.

it's been a while since I last participated in any BMS event with full effort, so I'm excited for BOFET, which is coming up very, very soon. I think we have a really cool lineup and I'm just excited for it to all release. of course as a group, we're nowhere near done, so I'm crossing my fingers that I don't end up looking really stupid if everything goes totally wrong (/ω＼) along with all the BMS stuff (btw check the site here ) I've been working on and basically have an entire album complete and ready to release~! of course I have to wait until I've release my BMS stuff so that I'm not breaking BOF rules... also I need some time to advertise, cause I need money! speaking of money, I'm probably gonna try to start DJing lol. I actually just like it and want to have fun but honestly if I do a good job and people offer me gigs, I'll absolutely do it. of course I also simultaneously want to start school again and maybe take some audio related classes, but I'm not super certain about that, nor am I certain of anything! I don't neccecarily have the best ability to commit to ideas lol. I'm currently trying to deal with the fact that bmswiki is just being filled with spam almost every other week and I'm really getting tired of it. thankfully the newest bout of spam is just bots, I really don't appreciate whoever decided to fill the wiki with slurs and dox someone, that was fucked up. Is it really so hard to create a place where information can be shared freely? (the answer is obviously yes, I work at a library, I'm well aware free information is bound to bring a lot of strange faces no matter how many safeguards you enforce)

alnog with all the other shit I'm trying to do right now, I'm ALSO trying to organize some of my older releases, make them a bit prettier, get them in the same places, etc. so if you happen to read this and listen to my music all the time (very low crossover) just be aware.
I'm pretty sure that's all I have to say for now... actually lemme just give a bit of a teaser for the album for anyone who reads this lol

04/27/2022 - 6:04pm - Wednesday
currently at: work

time for my monthly post...
didn't get an interview for a position I applied for, still haven't got a call back from the local arcade, feeling a little demotivated. but overall life is pretty good, I dropped one of my jobs because it was driving me insane and for the most part it was a good idea but it does mean I'm working with a lot less money now. part of my reasoning for dropping the job was that I wanted more time to be creative and make stuff. I hope I won't be too depressed over the next few months and actually do something creative. I hope that rather than having to find another job later on I can just find a single job I can stick to. I really don't have enough energy to move from job to job, and I'll resist and deny the possibility that I might have to suck it up and do it for as long as I can. I live right next area with a lot of poverty and it's been really awful to see so many homeless and struggling people come in to work, only for me to head over to the west side of town to play dance games. that side of town is nauseating, so many upper middle class people living in a true capitalist wasteland... I can't stand it. not that the east side is that much better but I would still much rather be over here.

03/28/2022 - 7:03pm - Thursday
currently at: work

currently really enjoying shmups. I'm super glad I randomly purchased mushihimesama when it got it's switch port because now I cannot stop playing shmups! mainly CAVE games because I got hooked on the aesthetics but the genre as a whole is really enthralling to me right now. I started working on my own shmup but every time I want to work on it I just get completely overwhelmed with how much work there is to do. I really need to find some people who can do this stuff who aren't me...

02/10/2022 - 7:10pm - Thursday
currently at: work

the nintendo direct aired yesterday and its still on my mind. really happy that klonoa is getting remasters, not only because the fans are happy, but because I'll get to fully experience it for the first time! I'm similarly excited that Earthbound is on the switch now, I do still think the library nintendo of has provided could be better overall... not sure what the holdup is for so many games but I hope it's because they are getting their artists paid for their old work, I don't assume that's what it is because I certainly don't trust nintendo but for the sake of their employees, I hope that's what is happening. similarly, I'm very happy with the mario kart 8 DLC, I know people are angry there's not a new mario kart game yet, but I think that sticking with this engine and producing more content is a really good idea, and I'm excited for these stages. the price point is pretty low too, for as much new content as it's going to be.

01/21/2022 - 6:11pm - Friday
currently at: work

today we started the slow, slow process of moving my girlfriend into my apartment, exciting! we started with moving her pc setup which is set up right next to mine and looks very cute. we also went to home depot to get some paint cause we're gonna paint the "big room" we're gonna be in together, gf and my roommate started the process on the big room while I've been at work and I can't wait til it's all finished, the colors are gonna be yellowish green for our room and a different green for my roommate. we started this process at what I would describe as incredibly inconvenient because we're coming real real close to the due date for a BMS event we've already poured a lot of work into. I would be really sad if we don't make it but we're already so tired from everything else going on, hopefully tomorrow we can get a huge amount done! life is so busy recently...

01/12/2022 - 4:01pm - Wednesday
currently at: work

hello! my name is dandeless (not in real life of course) and this is the start of my blog! I really enjoy making music and I also enjoy rhythm games, those interests frequently cross over, and most of what I do revolves around them.
I've been composing for about 6 years now starting in around middle school when I discovered a game called "Cave Story" and it's music software, which despite being a very strange way to begin composing, it's led to some very cool stuff. this site attempts to archive what I do and it does an ok job at it I suppose. I've dug myself into a very niche hole of interests where I'm sure any regular person looking at my twitter or the stuff I do would have no idea what is going on, I like it like that, and I enjoy having unique interests that only a few people can fully understand. even so, I wish I could do something to share my interests with the greater public in a concise and fun way, there is so much talent involved in rhythm games that I wish the whole world could see and understand what makes them so amazing and unique. lastly, if you ever want to collaborate or invite me to a project, DM me on twitter or wherever you can find me, I love to share my skills!